Dec 31, 2015

Why I'll Never Order The Chocolate Slush From Sonic Again

Dear Reader, today, you are in for a treat... a frozen treat. I am going to tell you a true story about why I'll never order the chocolate slush from Sonic again. So buckle up, buttercup. Here. We. Go.

There is this fast-food restaurant called Sonic - you might have heard of it. We have one right down the street from us. It's actually down the street, then you take a right, then an immediate left, then another right, and it's on the left. Well anyways, they have something called the Happy Hour from 2 - 4 pm where you can buy certain things half price. It's really quite neat. I know my writing sounds like the sweet old lady you sat behind on the bus this morning... I'm writing like this on purpose, so just roll with it. 

I feel like I get cabin fever more often than most. Probably not more than someone who actually lives in a cabin that has a fever, but I digress. I decided to take my wife and kids on a family outing. I was feeling adventurous and wanted to go off our well-worn path to Target... to do something different. But one of my kids wasn't having it. He had no desire to leave the house whatsoever. Dear Lord, help me. After I cooled down a bit, I remembered that sometimes boys just need a little extra motivation. Instead of just making him suck it up figuratively, I promised to stop by Sonic before we went downtown so he could suck it up literally... a slush that is!

Two minutes later, we were sitting in the parking lot ready to order. "I'd like three small slushes, please. One mango, one cherry, and one... chocolate?" That's right, my youngest order the chocolate flavor. I am usually still at work during Sonic's happy hour, so I hadn't ordered it for him before. However, my lovely wife had and had relayed to me how dreadfully awful it tastes. But I ordered it for him anyway, because he kept saying how it was his favorite. Do the servers at Sonic still where roller skates? I must have been running my mouth when our server deliver the drinks to our van, because I have no idea if she rolled up or walked up. 

I passed the drinks back to the boys, and I could feel the tension dissipate from the atmosphere in the van. The bribe worked! Our family outing was back on track, and it was going to be a great afternoon... I could feel it. Less than a minute down the road, I heard a sweet voice calling to me from the seat right behind me. "Dad, you can try some of mine if you want to. It's really good." I love that my seven year old is still sweet.

I awkwardly bent by arm backwards, so he could awkwardly place his styrofoam cup in my hand. With my wife's words about how awful the chocolate flavored slushes were still echoing in my ears, I raised the straw to my lips and took an aggressive slurp. Dear Lord, help me. Words are utterly inadequate to express how much I disliked it. The vile aftertaste still lingers to this day. When I close my eyes at night all I see is a pond - dark brown and frozen. In this repetitive dream, I feel compelled to walk out on the ice. My son is out there calling to me to come to him. My wife is standing on the shore begging me not to go. I know it's not safe, but I can't help it... and when I reach the deepest part of the pond, the ice breaks. There is no escape.

This is why I will never order the chocolate slush from Sonic again... and why I strongly encourage you to do the same.

*Although I am not a fan of the chocolate, I am a huge fan of Sonic's cherry slushes! They actually have real cherries in them. Crazy good. So if you are free today from 2 - 4 pm you should pay them a visit.

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Photo credit: Marbach

1 comment:

  1. I just got the chocolate slush from sonic..... and yes,there are no words....